


the blue hour

by siringiri



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Gen, Mystery, Or Is It?, Other, Time Travel, inspired by life on mars
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-02-28
Packaged: 2019-10-08 06:26:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17381351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siringiri/pseuds/siringiri
Summary: After a severe car accident, Jaemin found himself transported 25 years prior, or did he? He struggled to determine whether he was just dreaming or living a new reality, as he tried to navigate his new life as a high school student in the year of 1993 with the voices of doctors, nurses, and his parents kept echoing inside his mind, begging him to wake up from his coma.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, I'd like to tell you something: this fic is pretty much inspired by Life on Mars, more the K-drama version because that's the only version I've watched so far (haven't started with the original British version). Some scenes and maybe even dialogues do appear in this too. But I kinda tweak it quite a lot too so this one is definitely not going to follow the original storyline. Hopefully I can finish this and not let it rot in writer's block hell :") Enjoy :))))

White. That was all he could see.

_“Car accident?”_

_“Yes, Doctor.”_

_“How is his condition?”_

He blinked once, twice. Shook his head once. Hit it also once. What was happening?

_“Head injury from collision with the road. A few shards of glass are also stuck in his arms. We suspect a few broken bones, so he’ll need to enter MRI later after the surgery.”_

What was it that he heard? He thought he heard voices of people talking, but he wasn’t really sure he could follow the conversation. He felt like fading out of it. Everything. The world.

_Beep—beep—_

_“The heart rate is getting slower, Doctor.”_

He wasn’t sure if he was still alive.

_Beep—_

_“Bring the defibrillator!”_

The white around him was slowly fading into black steadily.

_..._

 

Slowly, he opened his eyes.

He didn’t immediately recognize where he was, or what he was doing straight away. He wasn’t thinking of anything at all for one good minute, letting himself to register his surroundings slowly. He was starting to realize in what position he was in. He was lying down on his side, on the hard asphalt road. Was he back in the car accident scene again? But he didn’t feel blood dripping away from his head, nor did he feel numbness all over his body. In fact, he realized he could move his right hand and leg without pain. Then he started looking around. He registered pairs of shoes in front of him, and when he traced the owner of the legs wearing the shoes, he was met with a few pairs of eyes staring down at him as if they had just seen a weirdo.

He propped himself to get up from the ground, and was met with more pairs of eyes staring at him from behind. Scratch it, a group of students his age were circling around him. They were all murmuring something to their friends next to them, and he could hear some of them, but that wasn’t the case. He looked around to see their uniforms were definitely not from the same school as he was. Then he looked down at the uniform that he wore, and was left astonished.

He was wearing the same uniform as the kids surrounding him.

“Hey, let me through!” a loud voice of a middle-aged man was heard. “Kid, are you alright?”

He looked up to see the man who seemed to be wearing a jacket that the school bus drivers usually wore.

“Yes?” The question was hard to answer. He wasn’t even sure of what was going on at the moment, because he surely thought he was going to die just now, but the thing was, he was doing fine now, but he was wearing the wrong uniform. A set of uniform that he never knew he had, in fact.

“You suddenly appeared in front of the bus and then just fainted! I was so afraid you got hit, you know!”

A bus? The accident was indeed blurry, but he was sure it wasn’t a bus that hit him.

He could hear another voice of an adult coming through, and now, he was met with the sight of what seemed to be teachers. A male teacher with two female teachers trailing behind him pierced through the crowd and talked to him right away.

“Student, are you okay? You seem to be the new student, do you need to go to the infirmary first?”

 

He was led to the school infirmary by one of the female teachers, or the school nurse, actually. She introduced herself as Bae Joohyun, and then proceeded to check if there was any injury on his body. He did say he didn’t have any, strangely, but he didn’t voice that thought to her. After the checkup, she eventually declared that there wasn’t anything wrong with him, but he seemed to show some sign of fatigue since he fainted earlier, so she prescribed some medicine for him.

“So, I guess you are the new student. Na Jaemin, right?”

She pointed at the name tag on his shirt and he followed her line of sight. Indeed, his name was printed on it. Below the name tag was the emblem of the school, which he took a closer look at.

“Insung… High School?” He looked puzzled when he glanced back at Joohyun.

“Welcome. Though it would’ve been better if you came healthy on your first day though.”

She showed a warm smile to him, but he wasn’t getting through with what seemed to be... a different reality from what he was used to. “So this is not Seoul? What’s the date today?”

He was wondering that maybe he had gone through the accident alive and back kicking, and somehow he moved to Insung in between, but if so, there were quite a large part of his memory that seemed amiss, like he was having a selective amnesia or something, maybe the effect of the accident—

“Yes, you are in Insung City. And the date today is... April 7th, 1993.”

—or maybe he had gone out of his mind.

 

The break time was almost over when Jaemin knocked on the teacher’s office room and entered. As if already waiting for him, the male teacher from earlier rose from his seat.

“Na Jaemin! You finally came!” The teacher rushed up towards the student in both worry and excitement. “Are you feeling better now? You looked really pale this morning, but now your complexion looks more colored. Not by much, but I guess you’re doing better now?”

Jaemin didn’t know what to say as his mind was still in chaos, so he just tried to smile politely.

“Anyway, I’m Kim Doyoung, and I’ll be your homeroom teacher this semester. I already told the kids that there’ll be a new student in the class, but it was too bad you couldn’t join right away. But since you came here, I’m guessing you’re ready for the lesson now?”

The student didn’t have any other choice but to say yes.

 

To be completely honest, he was still unsure that he travelled back in time or whatever shenanigans it had been. He was still reeling from the whole seemingly similar but different universe he found himself in. Was it just a dream, a figment of imagination inside his head, or a superpower he didn’t know he had, he couldn’t be sure. He thought he would’ve freaked out if put in this situation, but so far, he had been calm as ever, even when Joohyun told him the date. He did ask once more if she was stating the date right, but there was no sign of joking on her face or her voice. He also glanced at the calendar hanged inside the teacher’s room, and the number 1993 was written with a large font on top of it. He didn’t think that anyone would go so far as to put that calendar inside the teacher’s office just to prank him, right?

So he was waiting outside the class where he would enter, class 3-1. There was another teacher scheduled to teach at this time, but Doyoung had asked for a short time to introduce the new student to the class. He waited until he heard his name called before entering the classroom, eliciting claps from the students, whom Doyoung had asked to clap beforehand.

“New student, please introduce yourself to your new friends.”

Jaemin was scanning the students in the room with his eyes before his introduction. “Hi, uh... I’m Na Jaemin and I... I came from Seoul. I hope we can be friends. Please take care of me.”

There was almost no energy from his introduction which sort of made the mood down. Doyoung immediately slipped in a cheer after noticing the descending mood.

“Yes, thank you, Jaemin. Guys, he just came out of the infirmary so don’t go too hard on him on his first day, okay? Now, let’s have you seated. How about the seat next to Jeno?”

The seat that Doyoung referred to turned out to be the second from the back, right next to the window. The boy, Jeno, was staring outside the window before hearing his name being mentioned.

“Okay, that’s it for the introduction! I’ll let Mr. Seo continue with the lesson today, so have fun for the rest of the period, guys!”

The rest of the students let out a sigh at Doyoung’s statement, but they sent him off quite warmly, which was probably because he was their homeroom teacher after all. Jaemin went to the seat that Doyoung told him to sit, and he settled there, his eyes were immediately pulled towards the sky outside the window.

“Good afternoon, guys! I see now the new student has joined us in the lesson,” Mr. Seo said as he entered the classroom.

That made Jaemin turn for a moment. He decided to bow his head to the teacher.

“Okay, hope you’ll be able to follow through, Mr...”

Jaemin didn’t answer with his name, instead some other students answered for him.

“Mr. Na Jaemin. Hope to see your great achievement in my English class.”

He said yes to the teacher, before catching the eye of his new seatmate. Jeno just showed him a slight smile before turning to focus on the lesson. Now that he looked at him, he felt that his name sounded familiar. Jeno wasn’t really a common name in Korea, so if Jaemin felt that his name was familiar, could it be that he knew about this boy?

Suddenly he felt a pang inside his head again. He held onto his head as if trying to hold onto his dear life, his face scrunching in pain. Then he heard those voices again.

_“What is it now?”_

_“His heart rate is suddenly spiking up, Doctor!”_

_“No, not again! Jaemin-gun, please. Please stay with us.”_

“Mr. Na Jaemin. Are you alright?”

The said boy had his eyes open wide in shock. Everyone in the class was staring at him, including his seatmate. He shook his head lightly, and only now realized that he had bated breath.

“Do you need to go to the infirmary again? Or will you be able to stay for the rest of the class?”

He wasn’t really sure. If he heard the voices again, maybe he needed to rest. But what if the voices were the reality and this one, the class that he was having now was just a dream instead? A really realistic yet totally unreal one.

The words from what seemed to be the doctor was still ringing in his ears. _Please stay with us._

“I, uh, I’ll stay.” He wasn’t really sure to whom he said it. Did he say it to the teacher or the doctor, he wasn’t sure. Maybe both.

Mr. Seo was looking at him with quite a worry in his eyes, but he didn’t push further. “Okay. If you need to, you can just say it right away, okay.”

Jaemin nodded to that. The students were now back to the lesson one by one. Jeno was looking at him a little longer though. In fact, he actually started a conversation with him.

“Are you really alright? You look a little pale.”

The unexpected concern coming from Jeno surprised him. Aside from the fact that they just met today (in a world that Jaemin was not even sure if it was real or not), he didn’t strike any conversation with him earlier. He guessed his seatmate would only start to talk when he needed to be, especially to new people, perhaps.

“I’m alright,” was Jaemin’s somewhat soulless response. That probably wouldn’t satisfy whatever concern Jeno had for him, but the boy didn’t ask further even when the frown on his face was getting deeper upon hearing the response.

 

Finally, the school was over. And for once, Jaemin was not happy about it. Focusing on the class helped him set aside everything that was bugging on his mind, the main thing being the mysterious supposedly time slip and the voices that visited him for twice already now. And now that as he walked towards the front gate of the school, watching other students with their friends leaving the area, he just realized that he didn’t know where to go next. The thing that he got transferred into another school twenty five years back into the past was already as weird as it was, is it even possible that he already got a place to stay as well?

He got someone tapping his shoulder from behind as an answer.

“Hey, are you Na Jaemin? The transfer student from Seoul who almost got hit by the school bus?”

The boy asking the question was noticeably shorter than him, and from the way he was asking, Jaemin almost felt offended, but quickly realized that the way this boy described him was actually true when he was about to protest. So he ended up saying yes.

“I got a message from the gosiwon owner where I stay that she has your luggage? This morning she was about to give it to you but you already left for school so early, so she asked me to inform you about it instead, since we go to the same school after all.”

A gosiwon. So that was where he was staying here. For all his life living in Seoul, he never really went separate ways from his parents. Who would be his parents in this world then? Would they still be the one he had known all his life, or someone else? Or did he just end up without any parents here?

“Hey, did you hear me? You have to go right now.” The boy was waving his hand in front of Jaemin’s face right when the latter was starting to get deep into his thought, which he didn’t manage to do.

“Sure. Can you show me the way there?”

The boy raised one eyebrow at the question. “You don’t remember where the gosiwon is?”

“I, uh, I had a fatigue,” he reasoned, which was supposedly true enough. He even took some medicine from the school nurse for it, duh.

“Is that why you suddenly fainted while crossing the street? Right in front of the school bus? That’s what I heard anyway.”

The tone the boy used almost made Jaemin offended again, as if he was condescending, but he was starting to feel that it was indeed the boy’s way of talking. “What’s your name anyway?”

“Oh right. I’m Huang Renjun.”

“What?” He looked down at the boy’s name tag instead, which was unfortunately covered by the shoulder strap of his backpack. Renjun showed a look of slight annoyance, as if he had been through the same thing over and over.

“If you have a hard time pronouncing that, just call me Injun. Everyone calls me that here anyway, so.”

 

They arrived in the gosiwon and met with the owner, a woman in her 30s, but got called Auntie by Renjun. In Jaemin’s opinion, she still looked young enough to be called Noona, but she didn’t seem offended to be called Auntie either.

There were two big carriers that apparently belonged to him. Renjun immediately offered to help bring one of them to his room, which Jaemin just agreed without thinking much about it.

As it turned out though, Renjun was having a hard time carrying the luggage.

“Hey, are you sure you don’t need my help?” Jaemin eventually asked after he arrived upstairs, where his room was supposedly located. Renjun was still struggling with the carrier on the stairs, as he kept climbing up and stopping to pull the luggage with him by each step of the flight.

“Nope! I—can—handle—this!”

Jaemin would’ve gone to help, but he felt that if he did, he would offend the boy. So he waited until Renjun arrived at the end of the stairs before snatching the luggage away from the boy.

“Hey—wait, don’t you think you should’ve said thank you?”

Jaemin was already preoccupied with finding the room where he stayed though. He kept walking until he found the number. 208 it is.

“Hey, you ungrateful brat! Didn’t you hear me the last time?” Renjun caught up to him, but he was definitely out of breath. Seeing the condition Renjun was in drew a little concern in Jaemin, which he expressed by a touch on the other’s shoulder.

“Thank you. You better go to rest now.” He tried to offer a small smile to show a little bit of his sincerity.

“Yeah, yeah. We are in the same floor anyway, thank God.” The boy fished out a key from the outer pocket of his backpack and moved to open the door next to his, 207.

“You live right next to me?”

Renjun stopped from twisting the key to look at Jaemin in the eye. “Right. I do. What a coincidence, huh?”

He opened the door with a last single twist of the key and proceeded to step into the room. “If you need anything, or maybe if you need a company on your way to school or any other places, I’ll be right here. So, uh, enjoy your stay.”

The boy sent one final wave of his hand before closing the door in front of him. Jaemin was then left all alone in the corridor with two carriers. He couldn’t wait to see what would be his belongings in this world. He certainly hoped his phone was in there, that’s for sure.

 

His phone was not in the luggage.

Instead, he found a bunch of clothes that were not his own, but perfectly fitting to what people lived in 90s would wear. The only gadgets that he could find were a walkman (now that he looked at it, he couldn’t even use the damn walkman because there were no cassettes packed inside the luggage, and that meant he had to buy cassettes on his own) and a small pager, which he didn’t know how to use. There were also books, mostly for school, some stationery, toiletries, and nothing more. It was totally the perfect things that one could use as a student living in a gosiwon, far away from home. But he was a little disappointed that there were no traces of him in the present, the him who lived in 2018, or maybe something that his parents would’ve left to him that he would recognize. But then again, in the year of 1993, his parents probably hadn’t even met each other. He tried thinking about it, and guessed that they would be... high schooler, just like him. Heck, his father would be exactly the same age as him in this era.

He suddenly remembered something.

Insung City was his father’s hometown. So his father must be a... student right now. At Insung High School.

There was a stinging pain suddenly coming over his head. It hurt really bad that he immediately clutched on his head. Then the voices were heard again.

_“Jaemin. It’s Dad.”_

He opened his eyes in surprise, slowly letting go of his head. It was indeed his father’s voice he was hearing.

_“Can you hear me? Your mother and I are right next to you now.”_

He looked to his left and then to his right, obviously unable to see his parents. Yet, he tried to imagine both of them, his father on his left and his mother on the other side, looking at him with eyes full of concern.

 _“Doctor, can he actually hear us in this state?”_ It was the voice of his mother.

_“That’s the strange thing, Ma’am. You see, even though his brain damage was quite severe, we still detected an activity inside his brain. It’s akin to the brain activity of someone having a dream. It’s almost like he’s stuck... in his subconscious.”_

Dream? Subconscious?

_“Because of this, it may be possible that he can hear you, but his brain might just perceive it as part of his dream.”_

He looked around his gosiwon room again. This could not be real then. This, all this, was all a dream?

 _“Jaemin.”_ It was his father’s voice again. _“If you can hear us, please, wake up, Son. Go back to us. We really miss you.”_

He could then hear his father’s voice break at the last sentence, followed by his mother’s sob that she tried to hold back. He felt it. He had to go back to his family. He needed to break out of this terrible dream.

 

When you dream of yourself falling, you would usually wake up right before hitting the ground.

So that was what Jaemin was trying to do now.

The gosiwon wasn’t really a tall building, but its three story building was tall enough for him to snap out of a dream, or at least he hoped so.

The sun had just set for a few minutes but the sky was already dark with only sprinkles of lights seen spreading around the bright full moon. It was a wonderful sight, but he wasn’t sure if he could stay and enjoy the view when there was more pressing matter in hand. He walked towards the edge of the rooftop, climbed onto it, and looked down where the lights below were illuminating the roads. Not even that many people could be seen there. If he fell down there, would he simply be pronounced dead here or would he go back, he would be able to find out in a matter of seconds.

“Hey, Na Jaemin!”

The voice startled him, took his attention away from the road to the boy calling out his name behind him. It was his neighbor, Huang Renjun.

“What are you doing over there? Get down here.” Renjun was approaching him and made a gesture to come to him, but Jaemin shook his head instead.

“No, you aren’t real.”

The said words made Renjun stop and raised one eyebrow. “What did you just say?”

“This isn’t real. I am actually in a coma right now, so I need to go back. I need to wake up from the coma, I need to go back to my parents—”

“Hey.” Renjun was now folding his arms on his chest, clearly unimpressed by Jaemin’s seemingly maniac fit. “Are you high? Not because you’re on the rooftop, of course, but like, drugs? Do you do drugs? Or are you just naturally not in your right mind? Or are you just stressed that you ended up in this small city, town, slum, whatever you want to call it?”

It was Jaemin’s turn to look at the boy weirdly. “No.”

“No. Okay. Then what is this all about?” He made an abstract gesture with his hand to refer to the situation at hand. “What’s with this thing about calling me unreal?”

“You don’t understand. I... I was in an accident, I was in 2018! Yes, I was born in the year 2000 and I was already 19 years old in 2018, I was crossing the street when a car came crashing into me, but the next thing I know I’m here. I keep hearing voices of my parents, people who are probably trying to keep me alive... they are now waiting for me to wake up, to come back to them. I don’t even know why I’m here! I wasn’t even born yet in this year! I... I’m sorry, but I need to wake up from this dream.”

“Dream?” Renjun was now looking at him with a look of disbelief. “Are you telling me now this is all a dream? I’m part of your dream, something like that?”

“Yes,” Jaemin answered without even a little hesitation in his voice. He turned back to the wide space in front of him again, then looked down to see the road. He closed his eyes then, trying to calm himself down of the nerves. If I do this, I can go back.

Just as he was about to go one step forward, he heard Renjun shouting “No!” from behind, which effectively stopped him as well. He opened his eyes, and was only now alert of another presence trying to climb the edge of the rooftop next to him. The next thing he knew, Renjun was also standing on the edge, completely facing him.

“Then if I were a dream, it would be no problem for me to jump along with you, right?”

Hearing the words from Renjun though, Jaemin looked surprised. He wasn’t expecting the frail-looking boy to say such thing.

“You don’t need to get dragged into this, Injun.”

“I thought you said I’m just a dream? Do you think if I jump from here, I’ll be like, dead? No, right?”

Jaemin shook his head, fervently but weakly. “I... I don’t know.”

“If you don’t know, we can just try it out.”

“No! Stop it!”

This time, Jaemin was the one with his hands stretched out to Renjun. The latter grabbed Jaemin’s right hand in his left, and used it to help him approach the boy.

As they had come to a shorter distance, Renjun put Jaemin’s hand in his hold to his chest, where his heart was located. The move startled Jaemin, but then he could feel the other boy’s heartbeat under his skin and the few layers of Renjun’s clothes. The lithe boy gave him a steely gaze, in contrast with the way he looked.

“You can feel that? My heartbeat?” he asked without the usual edge in his tone. Just, gentle, but at the same time, determined. It was the first time Jaemin ever heard Renjun talking that way. “If I was not real, then I wouldn’t be alive right? I wouldn’t have a beating heart or pulse or any other stuff that indicates that I am indeed a living being.”

The final part of his sentence was when his usual sarcasm came back. At the same moment, Jaemin pulled his hand from Renjun’s hold that was even barely there. He tried to process everything that was happening at the moment, but he still couldn’t. Everything in this world felt too real, yet his parents’ cries of wanting him to come back made sense to his reality the most. The reality that he was used to.

“I am not a fan of high places,” Renjun said again, “so can we both just come down from here? To the side of the rooftop, of course. Not to the road. I still want to live out my future days, and I believe you too. So let’s go.”

He then offered his hand. Jaemin was looking back and forth between the road below and the hand, while at the same time having an internal crisis. He closed his eyes, trying to make his decision in his mind when suddenly he felt his hand getting pulled down to the side of the rooftop. He lost balance right away and let out a yelp as he fell back to the rooftop with Renjun under him.

“Aw! What was that for?” Jaemin had asked, but the boy who had pulled him back was giggling. He was sure the fragile-looking boy would’ve hurt more, but he looked like he just had a blast of his life.

The giggling didn’t last long, but Renjun was looking at Jaemin, still in amusement. “You crazy little bastard.”

He tried to push Jaemin away, in which the latter did help by rolling away from him. They both were now looking at the starry sky and the full moon.

“Wow, the moon tonight is so pretty,” Renjun said out of the blue. Both of them turned their head to each other right after that. “No wonder you got a little… lunatic, I guess.”

Jaemin got busy thinking the correlation between the full moon and crazy behaviors, and in the mean time, Renjun already got to his feet. He offered his hand again, which the taller declined. Jaemin got up on his own, asking the question that he had in his mind.

“What does my action have to do with the full moon?”

Renjun was looking at him as if asking ‘are you kidding me’ but then went on to explain. “People said you do crazy things when the full moon arrived. Don’t you know that kind of saying?”

Jaemin was about to answer before Renjun cut him off. “You know what, don’t answer. Let’s just go back inside. I will not leave until I see you get back inside with my own two eyes, so you go first.”

The taller wasn’t happy with Renjun’s somewhat scolding tone, but he complied. He gave one last look to the edge of the rooftop before walking back inside the building with Renjun following behind him.

 

When he left the gosiwon room the next morning, the door next to his room also opened simultaneously. Renjun greeted him with a short ‘hey’, which Jaemin responded to with a nod.

“Ready to go for your second day I see?”

Again, Jaemin nodded to the question.

Both of them walked to the school, which was only ten minutes. They didn’t talk much during their walk, which made Jaemin feel a little uncomfortable, but at least Renjun didn’t mention the ordeal they had last night. When they arrived at the front gate of school, Jaemin suddenly realized that he still didn’t know where Renjun’s class was. So he asked it to the boy.

“Me? I’m in class 3-2.”

“Oh, so we are also class neighbors?”

Renjun chuckled a little. “Yeah, I guess. I guess we are fated to be neighbors.”

They were walking down the path to the third year class when Jaemin spotted a familiar face among the crowd of students in the corridor. He widened his eyes when he recognized the face of his seat partner, looking at his direction, seemingly in the process of forming a smiley face. He even had his hand slightly lifted up, as if he was about to wave at him.

“Hey, Na Jae—”

Right when Jaemin was about to wave back at him, he heard another shout from behind.

“Lee Jeno!”

Then he spotted another student who seemed to have glasses on rushing towards the boy he just called earlier. Jeno’s line of vision became clear. It was directed to that student. Jaemin, who had his hand hanging in the air for a moment, immediately put it down after fully realizing the situation.

“Hey, did you think Lee Jeno was waving at you?” There was a slightly mocking tone in Renjun’s voice. Jaemin couldn’t hide his discomfort this time. Renjun though, burst into a fit of laughter, albeit shortly.

“That’s his buddy. Na Jaewook. Well, his name is similar with yours, but only the first two letters, but—”

The rest of Renjun’s explanation got drowned out once he mentioned the name. Na Jaewook. Na Jaewook? That boy? The one who had just greeted Jeno?

As he turned back to see Jeno and Jaewook hi-fived each other and talked with smiles on their faces, a realization dawned on him.

That was his father he was seeing.

And his father was best friends with Lee Jeno.

 

_“Dad.”_

_Jaewook looked up from the photo album he was looking at. “Hey, son. What’s up?”_

_Jaemin approached his father and then took a seat next to him on the couch. “Dad. I, uh, need some money. You know, for the school trip.”_

_“Oh, really? When is the school trip?”_

_“2 weeks from now, but our homeroom teacher will book the bus and also the inn next week, so we need to collect some money for that. It’s 20,000 won, by the way.”_

_Jaewook nodded for a moment. “Right. 20,000 won. I’ll give it to you later.”_

_“Thanks, Dad!” Jaemin gave his father a hug, which he released right away. “What are you looking at anyway?”_

_“Just my graduation picture.” His father flipped to a page where his old picture as a student could be seen on the page._

_“Oh, looking good, Dad,” Jaemin commented on the picture. He stayed for a while, watching his father flip on more pages. Then he flipped to a page, and stayed on it for a longer moment than the rest. It was also of a male student, remarkably, the most handsome one that Jaemin noted from what he’d seen so far._

_“Who is this, Dad?” Jaemin asked curiously since he noticed how his father was looking at the picture with nostalgia dancing in his eyes._

_The elder smiled a rather sad smile before replying, “He was my best friend at high school. Lee Jeno.”_

Jaemin was simply shell-shocked.

Na Jaewook—no, his father— was not in the same class as him and Jeno, but he was in class 3-2 where Renjun was instead. So as he separated with Renjun, Jeno also had to separate with Jaewook once the class started.

This time, at least, Jeno greeted him first once they were seated in the classroom. Jaemin only regarded him with a small hum, still reeling from the revelation.

He didn’t know what to feel at this moment. He wasn’t even sure of anything anymore. The class started and he was staring at some doodle that wasn’t his doing on the table as if it was more interesting than the lesson being taught at that time. He tried to snap out of it after a moment though. So did he really time slip into this era? But how did he end up being registered into the same school as his father? And what was up with the voices he had been hearing before? Wasn’t it supposed to be real? Then what was all this?

“Jaemin, are you alright?”

He turned to where his seat partner was looking at him with concern again, just like yesterday.

Then he remembered something that he heard about Lee Jeno from his father.

 

_“He...he already passed away.”_

_Jaemin looked at his father with a little surprise, then pity and dread washed over him right after that._

_“We had two CSATs in 1993. He just suddenly didn’t come to school nearing the weeks for the second CSAT, but then...” Jaewook took a deep breath, probably trying to hold something else back, like tears perhaps. “He was found in his aunt’s house. Heard he was already dead for a few days by then... they only found out once his aunt got back from work in the weekend.”_

 

“Jaemin.”

Jeno still looked as concerned as ever. There was some sort of sadness sipping into the corners of Jaemin’s heart upon recalling the memory. It probably showed on his face too, because his seatmate was now reaching out to feel his forehead. Which was something that Jaemin didn’t expect that he would do.

“Your temperature seems normal though. Is there something bothering you then?”

Jaemin immediately shook his head in an attempt to clear his mind, but Jeno seemed to have perceived it as a no.

“Well... okay then.” Thankfully, Jeno just left him alone after that, which Jaemin belatedly realized because of him shaking his head earlier. He was relieved about it though. He needed some moments to take in everything that he just learned just a few moments ago.

 

“Hey, Injun,” Jaemin started a conversation when he and Renjun were having lunch together in the cafeteria. “Do you know anything about Lee Jeno? And... Na Jaewook?”

His friend showed him one of his raised eyebrow look. Jaemin could only understand Renjun’s reaction being like this since he was starting to know what kind of person he was too, and the fact that he had to ask about his seat partner to someone from different classroom. But he didn’t think Renjun knew that Jeno was his seatmate though, and he didn’t have any plan to tell the boy about it any sooner.

“You’re the one in the same class as Lee Jeno. I think it’ll be faster for you to find out if you ask him directly rather than asking me.”

“Yeah, I know.” He knew Renjun would react this way. “It’s just... I’m not close with him yet, so I still feel awkward around him too.”

“You feel awkward around him yet you want to know about him.” There was sarcasm dripping from each and every letter he spat out. Jaemin almost shot up, knowing what the boy was thinking.

“Not only him! Na Jaewook too! You’re in the same class with him!” Jaemin pointed out.

“Yeah, but just like you, I’m not close with Na Jaewook.” Renjun grabbed one of the sliced apples on his tray and started munching on it. “You better finish your food, the break time is about to be over.”

Jaemin looked down at his half-finished meal and then Renjun’s mostly cleaned up tray. Despite his thin figure, he ate pretty quickly. The taller begrudgingly stabbed his spoon into the rice and put it into his mouth, munching it aggressively. He continued eating in that manner, which didn’t go unnoticed by Renjun.

“Hey, if you keep eating like that, you’re bound to spill something on your uniform.”

Both of them let out a sigh for different reasons. Renjun put down the sliced apple before pushing the tray to give space for his arms to rest.

“Alright, I’ll just tell you what I know about them. Not much though, so don’t expect too much.”

Jaemin’s gaze was now directed at the boy in front of him. He continued eating, but not with as much amount of force as he used earlier.

“Right. So...

As you can see, Lee Jeno is that handsome and also smart guy in our school. He’s also famous for what I just said earlier. Oh, and he also plays for our school’s baseball team. He used to be part of the music club too, until this year. Said he wanted to focus on college entrance exam. So, basically, the girls in this school are all crushing on him. But, he already has a girlfriend though, Kim Hyunjin from class 3-3. They used to be in the music club together, so that’s how they got to date. But to be honest, rather than with Kim Hyunjin, he’s mostly seen with... you know who.

Na Jaewook. He was the target of bullies since the first year of school. He’s good at studying and also a little nerd, that’s the reason why.”

As soon as he listened to Renjun talking about his father, Jaemin’s facial expression changed into that of a rather sad one. His father used to be bullied? He never knew about it, so that made him feel quite disheartened.

“When he got into the second year though, he got lucky because he was in the same class as Lee Jeno. So Jeno sort of noticed that Jaewook got bullied, and he stood up for him, so now they’re good friends.”

“And that’s all that I know.” Renjun was now focusing on Jaemin, who now had an unreadable expression on his face.

So he had been helping his father during his high school days. No wonder his father seemed to have cherished Jeno so much.

_“He...died already.”_

The words coming from his father suddenly echoed back into his mind. Suddenly, he pictured the 19-year-old Na Jaewook who heard the news of his best friend found dead in his aunt’s house. How he must’ve cried his heart out. How he must’ve gone to the burial, wearing the school uniform just like the other students, and cried again. How he must’ve been lonely after being left alone.

He suddenly felt a little bit afraid. Would the bullies be coming after his father again after Jeno died?

No, he couldn’t let it be then. He now found a new purpose in this world. At least, he believed that would be the reason why he ended up in this place, conveniently placed into the strange world of 1993 with his own identity still intact with him. He could act on his own, and perhaps changed the past for his father.

“Hey. Na Jaemin.” Renjun was successful in breaking the chain of Jaemin’s thoughts, as the boy’s attention was now back to him. “Why did you suddenly go blank like that just now? Don’t you have anything to say to me?”

“What?” Jaemin looked genuinely confused, which definitely didn’t please Renjun.

“I already told you what I know about those two per your request, so?”

“Ah. Thank you,” Jaemin finally said. “I... I’ll buy you tteokbokki then.”

“What? Are you for real?”

“Yeah. I’ll buy it for you right after school.”

“Oh. You’re being too nice now, Na Jaemin.” Renjun was now grinning widely, which made Jaemin smile too.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm starting to get the gist of how this story will go as I was editing this chapter. Hopefully things will go well... Also you may need to suspend some of your belief on how pagers work. I did research the best I could do though ^^;; Thank you for feedback they surely help me in continuing this story!

Jaemin woke up one morning to the sound of a beeping noise. The beeping wouldn’t stop like a ringing alarm. He rubbed his eyes away from sleep before getting up to find the source of the noise. It apparently came out from his drawer. When he opened it, he found a pager with bright green screen as the source of the noise. There was ‘New Message!’ written on the screen. He didn’t have any idea how to use the pager though, so he pushed a random button on it. Thankfully, he chose the right button as the message opened immediately. There was a string of number in it. He thought about it for a moment before realizing that it was a phone number. Whose phone number was it though? He didn’t know, nor did he know how anyone could even send a message to this pager, because he never even touched it ever since he put the thing inside his drawer.

He still wrote the number from the message on his notebook nonetheless, and maybe he’d try calling it later when he got to a payphone.

 

Over the span of more than a week, he had become close with his neighbor, Huang Renjun. He eventually found out that the boy was Chinese and that he moved to Korea because of his parents who moved to Ansan for work. When asked why he ended up in Insung though, Renjun said that he wanted to try to live away from his parents once. It felt like there was more to it than that, but Jaemin didn’t try to ask any further. After all, he also had his own stories that he couldn’t tell, given his situation. And fortunately, Renjun never really tried to pry into it either. He had listened to Jaemin rambling about him being someone from 2018 once, and Jaemin wasn’t really sure that Renjun believed that story of his or not, but he was thankful that their conversations rarely led into Jaemin having to talk about his past story, which, ironically, was supposed to have happened in the future.

Still, he was really glad to have at least one close friend in this era who had been keeping him in check, but he was a little worried too, because he had his main mission and he hadn’t even got to be friends with him.

His seatmate, Lee Jeno, was always so nice to him so far. But that was all. They would have small talk about the lesson and school but that was all. And they only talked once they got into their seats in the class. Once they walked out of the class, they were practically strangers. Jaemin did notice that the most time he had seen Jeno outside the classroom, it would be with his fa— Jaewook. He needed to remind himself constantly to refer to his father as Jaewook while he was in this era.

To be honest, he wanted to get closer to his father as well. He wished to know how Jaewook was when he was the same age as him. He wanted to know how his father lived as a teenager, how he interacted with his one and only best friend, how he did in his study, what he did in his free time... Looking at the 19-year-old Na Jaewook made him feel foreign, as if the father that he knew and the teenager were two completely different people.

 

Today, as he arrived in the classroom, he found the seat next to his empty. Jeno was an early bird, he would usually already put his bag at least on his table as a sign of his arrival, but there was nothing. Not his bag, his books, nothing. Even until the bell rang, there was no sign of Jeno coming to school. This was a first for Jaemin to sit at the desk alone.

The class went on as usual until the bell signaling the break time rang. Not having Jeno as his seatmate was really weird for Jaemin. It felt quite empty without him.

Just as he was going to leave to the cafeteria, someone suddenly took the empty seat next to him, calling his attention. He never really talked with this student to be able to memorize his name, but one look at his name tag, Lee Donghyuck, helped him identify the sudden intruder. An unreadable expression was set on Donghyuck’s face as he stared into Jaemin’s soul, or at least that was what it felt like.

“Do you know where Lee Jeno is?” he asked with unexpectedly light voice. Jaemin threw him a confused look, because why all of the sudden? As far as he was concerned, he rarely saw this boy together with Jeno, which should prove that he wasn’t close enough with his seatmate to ask about his whereabouts.

“From the look on your face, it seems you don’t know as well, huh.” Donghyuck propped his chin on his hand, and then proceeded to prop his elbow on the desk. “I’d have thought you probably have built some beautiful relationship with him, but I see that’s not the case.”

Jaemin found the situation quite ridiculous, that it probably showed on his face right now. “What are you even talking about?”

A smile was starting to grow on Donghyuck’s face, a rather sly one. “You have no idea what’s going on right now, don’t you?”

The words made something stir in Jaemin. What in the—

“Don’t tell me you don’t even know how you ended up in this place.”

The way Donghyuck talked, and even the way he looked at Jaemin was more than just sarcasm. Jaemin felt like he was played. Like the boy sitting next to him at this moment was playing with him, or that he knew something.

“Ha, what’s up with your face? Did I say something wrong? Or did I say something right instead?”

Jaemin stood up right away from his seat, feeling the need to stay as far away as possible from Donghyuck. He felt it coming again. And when he headed to the door, he got stopped in his tracks by someone way too familiar for him.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Jaewook said, also looking surprised that he almost ran into Jaemin. Then his gaze was directed to the inside of the classroom, and it was predictable which seat he was looking for.

“Hey, I heard you’re Jeno’s seatmate, right?” Jaewook started talking again, and now it was really fully directed at Jaemin. “Is he not coming to the class today?”

_“Doctor, the patient’s heartbeat suddenly went up a spike!”_

Jaemin only stared at Jaewook, who was also staring back at him with anticipation.

 _“Son! Hang on! I’m_ here! I’m right here with you!”

He felt something strange. He heard his father’s voice melding together with the voice of the 19-year-old Na Jaewook who was currently in front of him. He felt something indescribable, not a totally bad feeling but not that good either. He was strangely happy, but not satisfied at the same time.

“Hello? Were you listening?”

Jaewook was now waving his hand in front of Jaemin’s face. The latter blinked rapidly to put himself together. He tried to answer now, but it came out in a stutter.

“Ah, yeah, uh, he, Lee Jeno, he didn’t, yeah, he’s not coming today.”

Jaemin wanted to hit himself on his head. He was happy that he and his father had a proper conversation for once, but he was apparently not ready for this moment because he ended up stuttering in front of him. If his father in 2018 saw this, he would have laughed his ass off.

“Oh, okay. Thank you.”

With that, Jaewook just turned his back and left. As he looked on to see his father’s retreating back, he felt sad again. He should’ve said something more. He wondered, even without Jeno for just a day, would he be getting bullied again? Should he try to protect his father just for today?

 

He still ended up in the cafeteria with Renjun as always for the day since he needed the lunch, but he was looking around for that one person.

“Hey,” Renjun poked Jaemin on the back of his hand. “You’re looking for someone?”

“Uh? Ah, no, it’s just...” Jaemin didn’t know what to say though.

“Yeah, you’re definitely looking for someone,” Renjun concluded by himself. “So who is it? Is it someone I know? A pretty girl, perhaps?”

“No,” was Jaemin’s firm answer. Renjun squinted one of his eyes, but not long after, he widened them again.

“Don’t tell me... you’re looking for a... pretty boy?”

The moment Renjun said it, Jaemin finally saw his father entering the cafeteria. His face showed a happy kind of surprised expression, but the moment he saw the students following behind him, he went gloomy again. There were three students, one of them tall and lanky, one of them shorter and definitely chubbier, one of them of the average build. They followed Jaewook until they got to the place to grab the trays for lunch. The three of them grabbed one each, but not Jaewook. As they filled the trays with food, Jaewook kept following them until they got to the cashier. Jaemin could see Jaewook pulling out his wallet from his pocket and took out some cash from it to pay for the lunches. After that, those students started leaving, but not before hitting Jaewook in the head one by one. The scene made Jaemin’s blood boiling in anger.

“You were looking for Na Jaewook?” Renjun asked in disbelief as he hit his friend’s shoulder. “Hey, why would you even have any interest in that guy— hey!”

Jaemin already got up from his seat and he walked fast towards Jaewook, who was looking all gloomy as he looked down at his empty wallet. He touched Jaewook in the shoulder, making the boy turn his attention to him. There was surprise evident on Jaewook’s face right when he noticed Jaemin’s presence.

“I’ll buy you some lunch. Get whatever you want, I’ll pay for it.”

Jaewook was definitely not expecting it. He even pointed at himself, trying to make sure if Jaemin was really talking about him. Jaemin nodded once, and then pushed him towards where the trays were. He stayed around Jaewook as he picked out the food until they got to the cashier, where he paid as he had promised. When Jaemin led Jaewook to where he and Renjun were sitting, he could see the look the three bullies threw at him. They were definitely looks of hostility thrown at him.

When Jaewook finally arrived at their seat, Renjun immediately threw Jaemin another upsetting look before immediately but awkwardly smiled at the newcomer.

“Hey, we’re in the same class right, ha ha ha.”

Jaewook gave a short “yes” before turning back to Jaemin. “Hey, uh, thank you for this. You don’t have to do this though.”

“No need to say thanks. It’s what I should do anyway.” And he meant it. He wouldn’t be able to see his father suffering, because that was how much he loved him. So he did what he had to do, and he would probably continue doing it.

 

What he did for Jaewook didn’t make them become closer overnight. Instead, the next day when Jeno finally went back to school, the boy started the talk about it with Jaemin first. And that was also their first conversation of the day after the small greetings they shared with each other.

“I heard yesterday you bought Jaewook lunch?”

Jaemin didn’t know whether he had to be surprised or not. I mean, he was sure Jeno would’ve heard of it from Jaewook, but he didn’t expect the boy to talk about it directly with him.

“Well, I only did what I had to do,” he repeated what he said to Jaewook yesterday. Jeno though, smiled until his eyes crinkled into crescents.

“Thank you so much though for taking care of my best friend. Things like this happened to him a lot in the past, so...”

Jeno didn’t continue his sentence, but Jaemin was already nodding his head in understanding.

“You better keep him company all the time,” Jaemin started to say, “or those bullies will keep bothering him.”

“Yeah, I know. That’s why I’ve been around him since we’re in the second year.”

Jaemin smiled back at Jeno, who definitely looked happy and even proud to be his father’s best friend. I think I need to thank you too, for being the best friend you are for him. So you better stay alive and graduate together with my father, Lee Jeno.

“Why didn’t you come to school yesterday anyway?” Now that he felt a little comfortable because the good deed that Jaemin did for his own father might’ve scored some good points in Jeno’s eyes, he asked the question in a rather nonchalant tone. The boy’s eye smile was gone, but he didn’t show any negative look or anything remotely close to that, just an acknowledgement.

“Oh, I went to Seoul yesterday. My brother just came out from the army, so I went to pick him up there.”

Jaemin accepted the answer, but it took some time for him to process what he said. He went to pick his brother all the way to Seoul. Wouldn’t it be easier if his parents went to pick him up instead? Or... did he—

“Do you want to have lunch together?” The offer that Jeno made caught Jaemin off guard. Then it seemed that Jeno was surprised himself, as he hastily added, “To repay for what you did for Jaewook yesterday.”

“What? Hey, I wasn’t expecting a repayment or anything like that, I’m just—”

“It’s not just that, Jaemin.” Jeno looked like he wanted to say something more but was thinking of it, so Jaemin waited curiously. “It’s just... we’re seatmates and we’re starting to get along pretty well, so I’m just saying that... you know...”

He understood what Jeno was trying to say. In fact, he had thought of this, too, getting along with Jeno and his father, so that he could get into the root of the problem that could ever lead into... well, you know. But he also didn’t want to abandon Renjun, his one and only close friend for more than a week now. It seemed that the Chinese boy didn’t have any other friend too other than him, because they always sat on the cafeteria together, only the two of them. Judging from how he reacted when he brought Jaewook to their table yesterday, he didn’t seem to be fond of any other kids intruding them.

“Uh, it’s not that I don’t want to have lunch together with you, Jeno, but I... already have a lunch friend.”

Jeno was looking hopeful when he waited for Jaemin’s answer, but now, he looked a little deflated. Which made something like guilt started pricking into Jaemin’s feelings.

“But hey, I can talk to him about it,” Jaemin exclaimed immediately, trying to brighten up the mood by purposely showing a wide grin to his seatmate. At least, this time, Jeno was starting to show a hint of smile too.

“Okay, I see then. I’ll wait, I guess.”

The teacher eventually entered the classroom signaling the start of the lesson. They didn’t share much talk after that, but Jaemin honestly couldn’t wait for the break time to come already.

 

“What?” Renjun had a deep frown on his face after hearing what his friend had just proposed to him. “Are you kidding me? I’m definitely not going to sit with one of the most well-known kid in this school!”

“Why not? He’s... nice.” Jaemin definitely expected this kind of reaction from Renjun, but he was still wishing for the boy to be able to change his mind.

“It’s... uh. Never mind. If you want to have lunch with him, go on. Just leave me alone.”

“I can’t just leave you alone. You don’t seem that you have any other friend besides me.”

“Oh, so are you just friends with me out of pity now? If so, then no, thank you.”

“You know that’s not what I mean! You know how I came about that I was able to make friends with you. I’m just saying that it might not be a bad thing having more friends. Besides, he’s also my seatmate, so—”

“What?” Renjun now looked surprised, but not the good kind of surprise. “You’re seatmates with him yet you went to ask _me_ out of all people about him? When you can just like, directly ask him since you’re seatmates with him anyway?”

“Hey, I was not on casual talking term with him that time, besides I also asked you about Na Jaewook. Your classmate.”

There was suddenly a coughing sound coming from Jaemin’s left. He turned to the source of it to see Lee Donghyuck looking his way cheekily. Since when was he there? While Jaemin was dumbfounded to see his classmate there, the said classmate grabbed his tray from the table and moved right to the empty seat next to him.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Renjun sounded irritated from the way he asked the question, but Donghyuck shot a cheeky smile to both of the occupiers of the table.

“I was already eavesdropping on your conversation, so I can just sit here and join, right?”

“I don’t think that’s an excuse to join into others’ conversation though,” Jaemin responded, but it got ignored. Instead, Donghyuck looked at him into the eyes, just like the first time they were talking that day.

“I see you’re now getting comfortable with Lee Jeno, but I don’t think you should be friends with him.”

“Wow. What’s with everyone trying to stop me from making more friends?” Renjun protested that he never did that, but Jaemin was now focused on Donghyuck. “What do you have against Jeno? Do you hate him or something?”

“Yes, I do hate him,” Donghyuck answered without hesitation, which earned looks of surprise from both sides, in a different way.

“Oh, this kid. I actually kinda like you,” Renjun exclaimed, and Donghyuck threw an amused smile to the boy. They then hi-fived each other, which was out of Jaemin’s expectation. And here he thought Renjun wasn’t into making new friends.

“Hey, Hwang Injun, why do you even take his side? You’re not even friends with this guy!” Jaemin pointed at Donghyuck, who reverted back to his cheeky smile. Renjun only shrugged as he folded his arms together on his chest.

“That’s because I share the same sentiment. I thought that was clear.”

Jaemin raised one of his eyebrows, not understanding as to why. Why would his friend hate on his seatmate? Renjun, who noticed this, made a gesture with both his hands, trying to explain what he meant.

“Well, I don’t hate him, because I don’t know him personally but like, I’ve always felt something weird about him. Like, he’s too perfect that whenever I see him I can feel something just doesn’t feel right. Don’t know if it’s just me being jealous or whatever, but yeah.”

“No, it’s definitely not,” Donghyuck agreed. “And I agreed about something weird with him. Something that is hard to figure out.”

“Why are you guys so hell-bent on discovering something ugly about him?” Jaemin didn’t understand them. Jeno was a good guy, a good friend to his father. He could never mistake that endearing look his father had when talking about Jeno. He was also known as a top student, he had talents in sports and music too apparently, so why would they want to search for the bad side of the already great things he had?

 “I’m not saying he’s got something ugly under his sleeves, but just,” Donghyuck sighed before getting up from his seat, “don’t get too close to him. You’ll just get hurt in the end.”

There was a rather heavy tone in Donghyuck’s last statement, as the boy took his tray with him and left. He didn’t even touch his meal even after suddenly including himself in his and Renjun’s conversation. What a strange kid.

 

It was apparently Jeno’s birthday the next day.

Of course, at first Jaemin didn’t know. Jeno greeted him as usual, everyone greeted Jeno as usual too. No one said anything remotely close to happy birthday to him. Everything went as usual until the bell to lunch break rang. At that time, they were having a quiz, and Teacher Kim Doyoung, their own homeroom teacher was the one who gave it to them. He didn’t let anyone come out of the classroom until everyone, and he meant every student in the class finished with the quiz.

Jaemin was, of course, fidgeting in his seat as he kept glancing at the clock on the wall. He didn’t get why Doyoung wouldn’t let them have the break time though, when it would still be his time to teach after that. He was indeed thinking about Renjun, who would probably get mad at him for not showing up during lunch, but he should cut Jaemin some slack, to be honest, especially in this situation where he didn’t have control over.

“Who hasn’t finished yet?” Only one person raised her hand, and everyone was looking at her disappointedly. She looked guilty too, as she kept saying sorry to everyone in the classroom, and continued to scribble something on her quiz sheet.

“Okay, we’ll wait until you finish,” Doyoung said with a smile on his face. At that time was when knocking sound was heard from outside the class. The teacher had closed the door right when the break time started to block out the noise from outside. Hearing the knock though, he went to the door to open it, and a female student carrying a cake with candle lit on top of it could be seen on the doorway.

“Happy birthday to you~” she started singing, followed by Doyoung, and then followed by the rest of the students in the classroom. Jaemin was confused at first, but as the girl carrying the cake came closer to his row of desk, and as the birthday song continued, it became clear that they were celebrating Jeno’s birthday.

“To beloved Lee Jeno~ Happy birthday to you!” She put the cake on the edge of Jeno’s side of the desk, in which Jeno gave more space by putting his quiz sheet inside his drawer. His eyes were reduced into those crescents that always appeared when he smiled, a trademark of his. Jaemin eventually joined the clapping, but not really cheering on, because he somehow still tried to process what was going on.

“Pray for your wishes first, then blow the candle,” the girl said to Jeno with a smile on her face. He did what she said, folding his hands into a prayer before blowing out the fire on the candle. Then everyone clapped and cheered, a lot of them saying happy birthday at once.

“Okay guys, I’m sorry for having held you guys back for the break time because it was actually part of the plan to surprise your friend here,” Doyoung started and winked at the girl who brought the cake, “but I’ll let you have the same break time as the other class! You can have your break 30 minutes after the bell signaling you to come to the class rings, okay! But you need to go back to the classroom by then. Understood!”

The students answered a chorus of yes. Doyoung gave them a thumb up and asked the students to submit their quiz sheets. All the students did as they were told, and a lot of them also came over to Jeno to say happy birthday personally. Jaemin wanted to do it too, but Jeno was already too preoccupied with everyone’s attention on him, especially the girl who brought the cake to him, so he didn’t have the courage to interfere. It’s ironic, especially since he was the closest to the birthday boy, literally. They were seatmates after all.

Jaemin decided to just say his wishes for Jeno during the break time. He submitted his quiz sheet and proceeded to leave the classroom.

When he only walked down a few steps away from the classroom, he caught the sight of Renjun leaning on the wall near his own classroom.

“Hey, why didn’t you come to lunch?”

“Got held back by Teacher Kim. Apparently for Jeno’s birthday.”

“Oh, I know it’s his birthday today. Figured it’d be because of that.”

“Huh? You know?” Jaemin couldn’t hide his surprise. And here he thought Renjun didn’t have any interest in Jeno.

“I just know because he’s got the same date for his birthday as mine, the 23rd. And that’s also because I’m exactly one month older than him, that’s all.”

Right at that moment, the bell rang. Renjun rolled his eyes, much in annoyance, before he pushed himself off the wall and patted Jaemin on his shoulder.

“Hey, you already have your lunch, right?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about me,” Renjun exclaimed as he retreated back to his classroom.

 

His classmates wouldn’t leave Jeno alone and even dragged him to the cafeteria. They asked him to buy them food since it was his birthday today (which Jeno didn’t, because he didn’t bring enough money, he reasoned), kept engaging him in conversation, like asking what his wishes were for his birthday, and how he would spend his birthday with his girlfriend, Kim Hyunjin (apparently, it was the girl who brought the cake). Jaemin didn’t really follow the flow of their conversation, as he just tried to finish his lunch as fast as possible in one corner of the cafeteria before leaving to the classroom by himself.

Jaemin sort of wondered where Jaewook was, or at least where he was when the girl brought the cake on the break time. He was Jeno’s best friend after all, so he found it weird that Jaewook didn’t join the celebration. Did he perhaps get held back by the bullies? The thought of it was disheartening for Jaemin.

And then his head was suddenly hurt by another stinging wave passing through. Oh, not the voices anymore.

_“How have you been holding on, Na Jaemin-gun?”_

Once the voice was heard, the pain subsided for a bit. He was now at the corridor of the school, where there was a big mirror placed at the very end of it, where the stairs were near. He could see his reflection on the mirror fading away, replaced by the figure of someone wearing a white lab coat. His reflection and the figure kept alternating until it settled for the figure, obviously a doctor, probably the one in charge of his comatose body.

_“We are still looking into your condition, so... hopefully you’ll keep hanging in there.”_

He approached the mirror step by step. His steps were getting quicker, and he ended up running. But as he started to run, he suddenly felt like the mirror was getting farther away from him. When he realized it, he stopped. The doctor seemed to be taking a closer look, now that his face was more visible.

 _“Jaemin-gun, you can hear me… right?”_ There was hesitance in the doctor’s voice. Jaemin nodded frantically, confirming the doctor’s suspicion by saying yes over and over, hoping that his action would somehow be seen by the doctor, but it didn’t seem to be the case. The doctor pulled away with a frown on his face, muttering something that became less clear as seconds passed by. He tried running towards the mirror again, but to no avail.

“Na Jaemin?”

He whipped his whole body right away to the source of the voice. Lee Donghyuck was staring at him with something akin to worry in his eyes. Jaemin didn’t have time to register the look on Donghyuck’s face though, as he turned back to stare at his own reflection in the mirror. The doctor’s figure was nowhere to be seen in there.

“What are you doing here? I thought you’d go straight back to the classroom.”

He turned back to Donghyuck. “What are _you_ doing here?”

“Isn’t it obvious? I’m following you, of course.”

Jaemin huffed in disbelief. Donghyuck was indeed brutally honest with his own words, or he probably was like this on purpose.

“Why are you following me then?”

“Well, I just thought at first you’d stay in the cafeteria for a bit with Jeno and the others, but apparently not. So I got curious.”

Jaemin wanted to say more, or maybe ask more, but he was still in a messy state of mind, so he just made a leave back to the classroom. Yet, Donghyuck stopped him again by asking more questions.

“What was that anyway? You were like running through the corridor and then started shouting stuff at the mirror. It’s a miracle no one came out of the classroom though. Were the walls of our school always this thick?”

He ignored Donghyuck before making his way to the stairs where their classroom was located. When he was climbing the stairs, he was stopped again by Donghyuck’s hold onto his arm.

“What is it again?”

“This is me just being a busybody again, but... have you said happy birthday to Jeno though?”

That reminded Jaemin, that he actually hadn’t said it. He thought he’d be able to when they had their lunch. Heck, he actually imagined how it’d be when they had their first lunch together. He shook his head trying to get the imagination off his mind, but Donghyuck seemed to take it as a no.

“Oh, surprise, surprise. Thought you’d be the very first person to say it.”

“Well, I didn’t know it was his birthday. And why do you care about it anyway? I thought you said you hate him.”

Donghyuck shook his head lightly while putting a hand over his heart. “You see, my hate towards him isn’t just a simple hate. It’s complicated, and I don’t think you’ll understand anyway, so I won’t tell you about it.” The boy took a step closer to Jaemin, his voice now in lower volume than earlier. “But I still mean it when I say it’s best for you to stay away from him though. Or at least do not get attached.”

He then left Jaemin who started to frown as he thought of what Donghyuck said. He still couldn’t fathom the whole situation with Donghyuck and Jeno, but since it had come to this, he was starting to suspect something must have happened between the two of them.

Then he looked back at the mirror located near the stairs where he saw the figure (illusion?) of the doctor earlier. If he looked deeper, would he appear again? The thought made his head start hurting again, but not as much as it was earlier. No matter how complicated Donghyuck’s hate for Jeno was, Jaemin thought it couldn’t be more complicated than the situation he was in now.

 

“Lee Jeno, happy birthday.”

Jaemin finally said it after all of the students in the class had settled back in the classroom. Jeno looked slightly surprised upon hearing the birthday wish, but he immediately smiled that characteristic smile of his and said a short thanks before Doyoung came back into the classroom.

And they didn’t say much to each other as they focused on the lesson. Not only that, Jaemin still had a lot in his mind too.

 

Apparently, the thoughts Jaemin had in mind was added by something he heard outside the classroom when he was on his cleaning duty.

“Kim Hyunjin, let’s break up.”

He already half-opened the door when he saw the couple not too far from the classroom and heard those words Jeno said. Hyunjin definitely looked like she couldn’t comprehend what was going on, as she just let a dry chuckle as a response.

“Jeno, are you kidding me? Why would you do this on your birthday?”

“Actually... it’s one of my birthday wishes. To break up with you.”

She then started swiping her hair in frustration. “Then give back the cake that I bought for you today.”

“That... the kids have eaten them all. But I’ll be willing to give it back to you in cash.”

She smiled, but it wasn’t one that signaled that she was happy. In fact, it was a smile that showed her frustration even more. “So I see you really don’t have feelings for me. Seeing how you’re so ready to give back what I gave to you.”

Jeno looked down to the ground, seemingly contemplating something, before looking back at her face and nodded. “Yeah, you’re right. I have no feelings for you, even from the beginning.”

Hyunjin smiled again, but this time it became a little sadder. Jaemin decided it was enough eavesdropping on his part and closed back the door quietly. He couldn’t say he was surprised that they broke up since they were rarely seen with each other. It was also quite obvious on Jeno’s part that he didn’t have feelings for her. So why did he date her in the first place? Bit by bit, Lee Jeno was indeed becoming a complicated puzzle that was hard to solve in Jaemin’s eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is quite a long update indeed.... after such a long time. And this actually felt like a filler chapter lol I'm sorry... I'll try to write better for the next

While he was sleeping, he heard his name being called. _Na Jaemin-gun._ He figured he was about to hear the voices of the doctors and nurses again, but he kept his eyes closed, still in need of more sleep.

_“Hello, Na Jaemin-gun. I’m just newly assigned to you, so I hope you’ll take care of me.”_

Jaemin wanted to laugh at the irony. How could he take care of the nurse in his comatose state? He already accepted his state of probably time-slipping while in coma for quite some time already, but it was never less weird whenever he heard the voices from the environment around his comatose body whilst living a whole different life in 1993.

_“I heard you suffered from brain damage from a car accident, but you survived the surgery. You can also still produce brainwaves. Wow. This is really incredible.”_

The boy felt somewhat flattered by that, even though it wasn’t supposed to be a compliment, he supposed. He should probably feel glad that he was at least still deemed alive.

_“Oh, I think you can hear me in this state then. I’ll probably need to run some test on you to see how your brainwave responds to your environment.”_

Not much he could hear afterwards, as he started to slip into a deep sleep. A beeping noise woke him up in the morning. It was something he had heard before, not so recently, but not that unfamiliar either.

The pager.

He got up from bed unbalanced, but at least he got his grip on the desk before he opened his drawer, where the pager was beeping loudly. How could this thing stay on all this time? He never really charged the battery, let alone knew how to do it, because he didn’t think he saw any charger in his luggage. He didn’t remember how to open a message on it, so he tried punching random buttons again. Unlike the last time, it took a little while before the message opened.

CALL ME

“What the...” He didn’t finish his sentence, because at this moment he remembered there was another message being sent to this pager. It was of a phone number that he thought about calling but forgot for a few weeks already. So did the person who sent this want Jaemin to call them? But who the hell was this person?

“Oi.” An exclamation was heard outside his door along with knocks on his door. He walked towards the door and opened, already expecting to see Renjun there.

“Let’s have breakfast. It’s Sunday.” Renjun looked and smelled like he had just come out from the shower, a deep contrast with Jaemin who had just gotten out of bed. Renjun didn’t seem to mind the state of his friend though, as he just told him to comb his hair as neatly as possible and put decent clothes on. Jaemin did as he was told, because he knew why.

The Auntie (he had also become used to calling the 30-something-year-old woman who owned the gosiwon Auntie as well) opened a small diner where she sold some dumpling porridge, which was the menu that went out of order pretty quickly because it was just that good. The first time Jaemin tried it, he agreed immediately with Renjun that it was the best dumpling porridge that he had ever tasted. He even wondered if the Auntie would still be selling this porridge in 2018.

It would’ve been like another day of Sunday breakfast, if not for the appearance of someone familiar sitting at one of the tables the Auntie provided in her small diner.

“Lee Jeno?”

When Jaemin said the name, the said boy also noticed him at the same time. He smiled his eye smile and waved at him, the person sitting in front of him also turned to look. It was of a woman who looked to be in her 20s, who could pass as his elder sister. She looked at his way before turning back to Jeno. The boy also did the same.

When he looked back to see where Renjun was, he was already not by his side. Instead, he was near where the Auntie was, on her counter desk, probably busy making the porridge. He caught up to Renjun who also turned to look at where his friend was.

“Hey, Jaemin, what do you want to drink? I already ordered one serving for us each.”

“Just some water is enough for me.”

After making their order, they went to find a place to sit. Renjun stopped in his tracks, and Jaemin realized the boy finally noticed Jeno’s presence in the small diner.

“Let’s sit here,” Jaemin directed to an empty table in the middle of the diner, which was enough distance from where Jeno was.

“You know?” Renjun asked him first, in which Jaemin nodded. His friend looked somewhat upset and even a tad bit uncomfortable. “How can he even find this place?”

“How can he _not_ find this place when the porridge is so good?”

Renjun didn’t answer him back for once, which made Jaemin smile in satisfaction.

Their servings of porridge finally came along with the drinks. It turned out Renjun ordered some milk for himself. He knew that Jaemin disliked milk, having already had meals together for almost everyday, so he lifted the glass of milk and held it towards his friend’s face. Jaemin immediately jerked away in disgust, which elicited a laugh from Renjun before the boy put the glass down again. Gosh, Renjun would never let Jaemin bask in victory whenever he upped him in anything.

“Jaemin.”

While having their delicious dumpling porridge, Jaemin almost choked on his food when he heard his name being called. Because the one who called him was none other than Lee Jeno, who was now smiling his trademark eye smile down at him.

“Oh, Jeno,” Jaemin managed to reply. He sneaked a glance at Renjun, who definitely didn’t look like he was welcoming the other boy.

“Oh, is this your lunch friend? You guys have breakfast together, too?”

Jaemin was about to confirm, but Renjun beat it to him first. “We live together, so we have meals together. All. The. Time.” He even looked up at Jeno at the last word for more emphasis. Jaemin felt like kicking his friend, so he did try to kick Renjun’s leg under the table, albeit weakly. At least it attracted the boy’s attention away from Jeno, but now Renjun threw a scandalized look at Jaemin, who also threw another look attempting to tell him to shut it down.

It also seemed evident on Jeno’s face that he suddenly felt awkward thanks to Renjun. Thankfully, right at that time, the woman who was having meals with Jeno came to their table.

“Hello, kids! Jeno, are they your friends?” The woman gazed at them warmly, also with a hint of friendly smile on her face. Jaemin got up from his seat to bow and say his greetings to her, in which she reacted by patting his shoulder.

“Oh, what a good-mannered kid! What’s your name?”

“It’s Na Jaemin.”

“Oh, Jaemin! What about your friend here?”

She was obviously referring to Renjun, who was still seated and looked quite unhappy, but he still got up to bow as well. “I’m Hwang Injun.”

“Injun! I’m glad to be able to meet more of Jeno’s friends! Auntie is really happy to see you spending your school years brilliantly!”

She referred to herself as Auntie. That meant she wasn’t Jeno’s sister.

“Auntie, you’re being too excited over me making friends.”

“That’s because I don’t think you value your friends so much. Remember when you were friends with Donghyuck and now he never even came to our house again?”

“Auntie.”

The name piqued Jaemin’s interest. Donghyuck? As in the Lee Donghyuck who had been bothering him at school for the past few days? Jeno used to be friends with him?

“Anyway, we gotta go now. Auntie, let’s go.”

“Ah, really? Alright then, see you guys around!” She waved her hands at the two boys before started walking out of the diner.

“Bye, Jaemin. Bye, Jaemin’s lunch friend.” Jeno also waved his hand, following his aunt outside.

Jaemin of course waved back, but Renjun just sat back, grumbling to himself. When Jaemin was back to his seat face to face with his friend, he noticed how Renjun only stirred the porridge without looking like he’d eat it, totally losing his appetite.

“Are you going to finish that? Because if you don’t, I will.”

That was apparently enough to get Renjun to finish his porridge. They were silent while eating until Jaemin finished his meal first. After several gulps of water, he asked something to Renjun that had been bugging his mind ever since a few moments ago.

“Injun, earlier Jeno’s aunt said he used to be friends with Donghyuck. Did she mean...” he added some flailing hand gesture, even though probably Renjun wouldn’t get it. “...the guy who said he hates Jeno? The one who came to our table at school the last time?”

“Yeah, Lee Donghyuck. That’s the guy,” Renjun answers without looking away from his food.

“And you knew all this time?”

The Chinese boy just rolled his eyes. “Everyone in the school knows. Well, you’re a new student, so it’s normal for you not to know.”

Everyone knows? “Then does everyone also know why they’re not friends anymore? Why Donghyuck now hates him?”

“That,” Renjun sighed when he finally straightened up to go face to face with his friend properly. “That is not my business. It’s not supposed to be yours too.”

Jaemin wanted to continue pushing for more answer, but he does notice how Renjun shrunk back into his ugly mood at the moment, so he just sighed as well.

 

They ended up cancelling their plan to go out in the afternoon, leaving Jaemin all by himself in his room. Of course, Renjun was probably alone too in his own, but it was clear he didn’t want to be disturbed for now. So maybe for today, Jaemin would just go on his own. He thought about buying some cassettes that he could play using the walkman that came out of his luggage. Or maybe he should buy some charger for his pager. Right then, he remembered about the message being sent there. He searched for his notebook where he wrote down the phone number sent to the pager. He ripped the paper from the book and folded it into smaller piece, and put it inside his pocket. Once he was all set, he left the room and the gosiwon.

He visited the record shops first. The workers at the shops recommended a lot of albums to him, from the local Seo Taiji and the Boys and the newcomer Deux, to the international pop songs by divas like Whitney Houston and Madonna. An unconscious smile formed on his face whenever he recognized some of the songs because his father would still sometimes hum them when he was home, sometimes singing them outright, like once in the shower he heard him belting out to “I Will Always Love You”. He picked out all the albums with songs that he heard from his father and then headed out to buy the pager’s charger.

When he noticed a pager store at the end of the corner of the road he was walking through, he noticed a payphone nearby. The phone number suddenly occurred in his mind, and he decided to call the number first. He walked to the payphone, took out the paper from his pocket, looked down at it before he put a coin and pressed the number in. The caller ring lasted for a few seconds, and he noticed someone standing on the opposite side of the sidewalk, her gaze fixated on the road. It was Hyunjin, he noticed, and the look on her face wasn’t really good.

_“Hello?”_

The voice of a man was finally heard.

“Hello? May I know who I’m talking with?”

There was a pause for a moment. _“You know I can’t say any name through phone calls, not even yours. You took a very long time to call me, I’m a little upset. I was already waiting for your call the moment I sent my number to you.”_

Jaemin took his time to take in all the things he just heard. _What?_

“And why is that? Is there something you want to tell me?”

_“Yeah. Actually—”_

A car horn made a sound out of the blue, and the sound of someone falling onto the road was heard. Kim Hyunjin was lying on the road lifelessly in front of a car. Jaemin almost lost his grip on the phone receiver as he involuntarily gasped in shock, his hand covering his mouth. The sight forced back the memory of his own accident, as he could see himself in Hyunjin’s place, lying on the cold concrete of the road. People started gathering around her, and he tried to shake his own vision away from his mind as he shook his head fervently and closed his eyes tightly, his grip on the phone receiver getting tighter as well.

_“Hello? Are you still there?”_

Trying to calm himself down, he took a deep breath and let it go again before putting back the phone speaker to his ear.

“Yes,” he shortly responds through ragged breathing.

_“Oh, you’re still here. I can’t talk to you for long, so I’ll say what I want to say at once. No repetition. Okay, actually, I know that you must be having a hard time here, especially since the decision to send you to Insung was all so sudden.”_

“Yes?” He suddenly felt it difficult to comprehend the words coming out from this mysterious man. “What... what is that supposed to mean?”

_“But as you know, you need to accomplish your mission, and only after that can you go back to your home.”_

“What? Hey, wait. What do you mean by that? What mission? Why am I suddenly entrusted with a mission? Why me? I– I don’t understand what this is all about. Hey, wait. Don’t hang up on me!”

The phone call already got reduced to short beeps. This time, the phone receiver slid down from his hold, as he totally felt his energy suddenly slipping away. He didn’t think of anything as he heard the sirens coming from an ambulance approaching the accident scene. He couldn’t think of anything as he saw Hyunjin’s body got carried into the said ambulance. He closed his eyes and leaned onto the wall of the payphone, his initial intention to buy the charger for his pager already long forgotten into the sea of much more complicated thoughts in his mind.

 

The next day, Jaemin and Renjun still walked together to school, but it was silent, almost awkward between them. They barely talked, only asking each other rigid questions like “do you have homework” or “are you wearing different socks today” that would end up answered in yes or no before they could enter another silence. Truthfully, Jaemin didn’t mind it, as he was still busy with his own thoughts. For most of their walk, he spent them on thinking, and he would flinch whenever he remembered the car accidents, or started frowning whenever he remembered the unknown phone call. He didn’t even realize Renjun had separated from him to go to his classroom when he arrived in front of his own. He sighed one more time before entering the classroom.

It was evident the news of Hyunjin’s accident had already spread throughout the school since the kids in his class were all about it at the moment. They were all speculating about the cause, whether it was because she wasn’t careful enough or because she wanted to kill herself due to depression. Then they would talk about the cause of her alleged depression, and the topic of her break-up with Jeno would come up in between.

The said boy was already in his seat, the look on his face was definitely not that of someone in a good mood. Jaemin approached his seat and even put his bag on the desk in a weakly manner. Jeno didn’t turn at all nor did he start to smile that bright eye smile of his, as if he was also lost in his thoughts. As he settled into his seat, Jaemin contemplated greeting him first or not before the bell started ringing, quite effective in taking Jeno out of his daze.

“Oh, Jaemin. You came,” he said as a matter of fact with a slight smile that didn’t reach his eyes. His eyes were much more gloomy-looking than Jaemin expected. His mood was definitely not the best for today. Jaemin still smiled back, pulling the corner of his lips a little further than his seatmate did as an attempt to give brighter impression. They didn’t start anymore talk though, not even after the teacher came in. Jaemin tried to focus on the lesson as usual, but his mind wouldn’t let him. When he glanced at his seat partner, it became clear that he was not focused on the lesson, too, as Jaemin caught him shaking his head a few times.

“Hey, Jeno.”

Perhaps it was the first time Jaemin had ever engaged his seatmate in a conversation first. The boy turned to him, a confused look on his face, probably having the same thoughts as Jaemin did, about how it was unusual for him to call him out first.

“Are you... alright?” It was also the question that Jeno often asked Jaemin whenever the latter started having his periodic hearing-voices-episodes, or when he just simply didn’t seem to be healthy. Even Jaemin felt strange asking it himself, but after catching some of the kids’ conversation, he was probably a bit worried, that maybe Jeno blamed himself for what happened to Hyunjin. Actually, he didn’t even know if Jeno was that type of person. Ironic, seeing as it had been a month since they became seat partners and Jaemin basically still had nothing in his knowledge about Jeno, other than the fact that he had a brother, an aunt, and also a best friend, and many other facts that were already known by other kids.

The boy’s lips actually quirked up in an amused smile. Jaemin was already starting to regret his sudden impulse to ask when the boy offered another response, in form of words this time.

“Yeah, I’m good.” And he did seem like he meant it. It was strange. Surely he wasn’t feeling fantastic just because Jaemin actually showed concern for him for once, but Jeno was back focusing on the teacher explaining the lesson for the class. Jaemin still felt something was wrong with him, but he remembered he had problems on his own. He automatically became fixated on his own thoughts, feeling more and more bothered by images of Hyunjin’s accident overlapping with his. The teacher in front of the class started getting blurry, and voices started to filter through his mind again.

_“Doctor, his blood pressure is experiencing a sudden drop!”_

_“Miss Son, prepare midodrine to be injected.”_

_“Right on it.”_

_“Na Jaemin-gun. What are you experiencing in your subconscious, I wonder?”_

“Jaemin.”

When the voices were gone, he started registering his surrounding, including where his hand was now located. He was holding onto Jeno’s arm. Of course the boy was now looking at him strangely, his head tilted to the side.

“Seems like I should be the one asking whether you’re alright or not.” Jaemin didn’t know whether he was imagining it or not, but there seemed to be a teasing tone in Jeno’s voice. Because Jeno asking Jaemin if he’s alright or not had always been the thing, not the other way around.

The lunch break bell was heard then. He still didn’t let go of the boy’s arm, his mind wandering somewhere else again, to a realization that it would still be awkward for him to have lunch with his usual friend.

“You’re not going to let go?”

Jaemin looked at Jeno, who was also looking at him expectantly. Waiting for him to let go, or to say something, he wasn’t sure. But Jaemin did the latter instead.

“Can I... have lunch with you?”

The offer made Jaemin want to slap his own mouth, but his seatmate was now grinning, his eye smile also present.

“Sure, why not?”

 

They waited together outside class 3-2 for Jaewook. Jaemin wished they could leave faster because he didn’t want to run into Renjun here, but he knew Jeno wouldn’t leave without Jaewook in tow.

Thankfully, the boy with glasses came out pretty quickly with stacked containers in his hand. He called Jeno right away, which the boy replied with a hand over his shoulder.

“By the way, Jaemin will have lunch with us, is it okay?”

“Huh? Oh, of course I don’t mind. But...” Jaewook looked down at the containers he held. “Never mind, I think it’ll suffice for three of us.”

They didn’t go to the cafeteria, instead, they were now sitting under a big tree in the school yard. No wonder Jaemin never noticed those two in the cafeteria, it was because they were never there in the first place, excluding the time when his classmates dragged Jeno to the cafeteria for his birthday.

“My mother made two rolls of kimbab today. You’re lucky she always makes them in big portions and always cuts them in pieces as well. So I think we can share this.”

Jaemin received the kimbab Jaewook offered to him in gratefulness. “Does your mother make you kimbab often?”

“Well, not often, but on days like this, when Jeno and I take turns in bringing our lunch, she usually makes this for us.”

Jaewook explained with such fondness that made Jaemin smile. He could see that his father was well-loved in his family, and that definitely transferred into the way he raised his only son. Jaemin could feel a fuzzy feeling settling in his chest.

As the three of them had their lunch under the tree, Jaewook suddenly looked up at Jeno, seemingly remembering something.

“Jeno, did you hear what happened to... your ex?” He became hesitant at the end of his sentence. When Jaemin looked at Jeno, he could see how the boy’s face fell immediately. Then he nodded in response to the question.

“Then... do you want to go visit her in the hospital?”

This time, Jeno threw a questioning look at Jaewook, who seemed to be flustered and stuttered with his words. Jaemin was watching them curiously, feeling as if he was missing some context in between.

“Hey, I— I’m just asking.” Jaewook waved his hand as a sign of downplaying, but downplaying what, Jaemin didn’t know. Instead, Jeno went back to his solemn expression and started nodding again.

“Yeah, well, I have to. Even though it will not make her feel better.”

Looking at the way Jeno and Jaewook interacted created more questions in Jaemin’s head, which unfortunately he couldn’t ask right away, seeing as he had just had lunch with the two of them just today. As he started to ponder them though, he caught someone’s figure far from them, tucked between the pillars of the school corridors, not too far from where the stairs were located.

Lee Donghyuck was seen leaning on one of the pillars, his eyes totally directed at the three of them. Jaemin even thought he probably made an eye contact with him, because he could make out Donghyuck’s characteristic cheeky smile from afar, before the boy turned his back and disappeared into the general direction of the stairs.

He remembered Jeno’s aunt mentioning Donghyuck as the boy’s old best friend. As he watched Jeno and Jaewook talking about a lighter topic and saw their smiles and laughter blooming in between, he wondered what had gone wrong with Jeno and Donghyuck. But at least, he believed that nothing would go wrong between Jeno and his father, as he listened to how hard Jaewook laughed upon hearing something that Jeno said, which made Jaemin laugh pleasantly, too.

 

When they were finally back in the classroom waiting for the teacher to come, Jaemin noticed that Jeno was back in that solemn mode of his again. He wondered if the accident really bothered him that much, but to be honest, it was bothering him too. He tried to set aside his own uneasiness before calling his seatmate’s name.

The said seatmate had his head completely facing him, and Jaemin tried to put the most assuring smile he could muster.

“Just... don’t be too sad. It’s not your fault.”

When the look of confusion started clouding Jeno’s features, Jaemin scrambled back his words, trying to make his point get across.

“I mean, Kim Hyunjin. It’s not your fault that she became like that.”

Finally, Jeno seemed to have understood. He smiled again in amusement, but the gloom still hadn’t left his eyes totally.

“I know it’s not my fault. Besides, I’m not sad because of Hyunjin.”

The statement drew a curious hum from Jaemin, his eyebrows knitting together. Did he really mean it? If it wasn’t because of Hyunjin, then why was he looking all gloomy today? Before Jaemin could ask, Jeno threw him his own question first.

“So... will you also have lunch with me and Jaewook tomorrow?”

The question caught Jaemin off guard. Seeing right now he was still not on a talking term with Renjun, he just agreed to the offer without thinking much.

“Yeah, sure.”

After agreeing though, he wondered if he had made a good decision.

 

“Hey, Na Jaemin.”

Renjun was waiting for the said boy in front of class 3-1. Jaemin wasn’t expecting him to still wait for him given their awkward situation, so it was an understatement to say he was surprised to see him there.

“Are you still mad because of yesterday?”

Jaemin threw an incredulous look at him. “I thought you are.”

“I’m not, but you’re the one who won’t talk to me. You won’t even have lunch with me even though you know I have no friends to have my lunch with.”

Somehow, Jaemin felt a little pang of guilt then. But he wondered if that was Renjun’s intention to make him feel guilty or pity him by mentioning the fact that he had no friends.

“Look, if anything I said or did yesterday made you feel offended, then I’m sorry.”

“What?” Jaemin wasn’t sure if his ears were malfunctioning, because out of all the things he expected Renjun to say, ‘sorry’ was in the bottom of the list.

“I told you I’m sorry. Now can we just go back home just like usual?”

The flustered look on Renjun’s face made Jaemin smiled, almost as if he was entertained by how his friend looked.

“Yeah, sure. I’m glad you’re not mad at me or something.” They started walking away from the classroom.

“Are you kidding? I was sure you’re the one who was mad, seeing how you looked so annoyed when we went to school together this morning.”

Jaemin frowned again when he remembered what went through his mind that morning. “Oh... that’s not because of you actually.”

“Really? Then what was it that made you so, I don’t know, like wanted to blow up at something?”

“It’s, uh...”

He told Renjun about him seeing Hyunjin’s accident along their way back home, but he decided not to tell him about the mysterious phone call. Telling him about the accident, though, made the images of the scene and his own accident came back to him again. He shuddered involuntarily when the images started to alternate in his mind. By the time he finished telling his story, Renjun patted his back as a comforting gesture.

“So, are you alright then?”

The question elicited astonishment that showed on Jaemin’s face. “Injun, I’m not the one getting hit by the car.”

“I know, but you looked so bothered by it when I saw you this morning. You still look like it actually. It’s almost like you’re the one experiencing it firsthand.”

Jaemin could only smile bitterly at Renjun’s remark. “Well... it was a traumatic sight for anyone witnessing it.” The shorter one of the two nodded in understanding.

“You need to relax, my friend. We can probably go to the arcade?”

“Right now?”

“Yeah, right now. I’ll pay if you wish,” Renjun said without any venom in his voice. In fact, a fond smile was showing on his face, which was contagious that Jaemin also smiled in the same amount of fondness.

“Sure. When else will Hwang Injun offer his own money for me to play in arcades?”

“You’re making me sound as if I’ll never do that exact thing in ordinary circumstances.”

Jaemin faked a gasp. “You will?” Renjun squinted his eyes.

“You want to get hit or what? Hey, come here! Don’t run away!”

 

_“Son, it’s me. Your father. I brought you some flowers. I don’t really know what type are these, but... I think you’ll know better than me. The nurse said it’s okay to bring you flowers, just to give some fragrance for this room. Don’t you always like these? I remembered when you were so into growing flowers when you were in the middle school. You said you wanted to grow them instead of buying them when you need to bring some for your date to save some money. Ha ha ha... really, I couldn’t fathom how you can think like that, Son. Still, I’m so proud to have a son like you. You’re still hanging in there, right?”_

When Jaemin opened his eyes, tears immediately fell from them, from the corners to the sides of his face.

He suddenly missed his family. How should he be able to wake up from this? Go back to them?

_You need to accomplish your mission, and only after that can you go back to your home._

The words from the mysterious man suddenly started entering his mind again. He wondered what kind of mission he needed to do to be able to go back.

Still, he prepared himself for the day, and when he finished, he heard knocks from his door.

“Shall we go?” was the question Renjun asked once he opened the door. Jaemin nodded.

 

“What? You said what to Lee Jeno?”

“I... Later we’ll have lunch together. It wasn’t even that bad, Jaewook brought some homemade kimbab yesterday and it was good.”

“So what? You will have lunch with him again today instead of with me?”

“Hey, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m just thinking if you can just join together. Besides I don’t think they will mind.”

“Nope, not happening. I’m not joining your little lunch party.”

“Hwang Injun.”

Renjun only waved his hand to Jaemin without even looking back, his feet bringing him into his classroom. Jaemin stopped in front of his, but he was still unsatisfied with how Renjun reacted to his offer.

When he entered the classroom, he was greeted with a curly smile from Jeno that still didn’t quite reach his eyes. At least he didn’t look as bad as yesterday though.

“Oh, Jaemin. You’re going to have lunch with me and Jaewook again, right?”

Jaemin blinked once, twice, before nodding slowly. He found it funny how Jeno needed a reassurance just for their lunchtime together. Jaemin couldn’t help but smile in amusement when his seatmate was not looking.

 

They were back under the tree in the school yard again during the lunch break, just the three of them. When they were waiting for Jaewook to come out of the classroom, unlike yesterday, Jaemin wished for Renjun to come out so that he could maybe force him to join with them, but even when Jaewook had come out of the classroom, there was no sign of the other boy.

“Let’s go.” Jeno and Jaewook already started walking away from the classroom as Jaemin looked ahead of the 3-2 classroom. He wanted to enter, but then he changed his mind quickly, afraid that maybe Renjun wouldn’t appreciate what he was trying to do.

This time, Jaewook brought two sets of stacked containers. “I heard you live in a gosiwon, so you probably don’t get to taste homemade food often. So we got more food this time.”

Jaemin let out a long exclamation with his hands covering his mouth. “I’m really touched. Really. You don’t have to make your mother cook extra food just for me.”

“Hey, it’s okay. You bought me food back then, so it’s only right for me to give back to you. Besides, my mother doesn’t mind,” Jaewook said as he patted Jaemin’s shoulder.

“That’s only one time! This is like, the second time you’re feeding me.”

“Well, to be honest, I just got this feeling that I have to feed you. You’re too skinny.”

“I’m not. I think... I’m about the same as Jeno.”

The said boy looked at Jaemin, surprised at first, but then his expression changed into disagreement. “I don’t think so.”

“Well, I probably don’t have the same amount of muscle as you are, but I’m working on it.”

The two best friends laughed at Jaemin’s statement, which made him grin widely. They continued talking while enjoying the lunch Jaewook’s mother made. Jaemin still wasn’t as engaged in the conversation, but he was fine with it. In fact, he found himself focusing on Jaewook, and it easily reminded him of his father’s voice that he heard this morning. He was happy to see his father in this state, but he still missed his father’s more fatherly figure a lot more, the figure he was more used to. That didn’t mean he held this teenage version of his father dear to his heart, but in this world where he couldn’t even depend on his parents and had to be on his own, it was indeed hard. He was surprised at himself that he could make it this far.

 _I’m proud to have a son like you._ Those words made him tear up again.

“Jaemin?” Jeno was holding onto his arms, his gaze reflecting a concern that seemed to have appeared from watching the boy crying. Jaemin immediately wiped away his tears.

“I’m fine, don’t worry too much,” he tried to say with unwavering voice.

“I didn’t expect you to cry over me getting 50 on my last math test,” Jaewook chirped in. Jaemin laughed this time.

“Yeah, I’m sad for you too.”

“But honestly, you’re always better in literature stuff than in math or science-related stuff,” Jeno said to Jaewook, who just shrugged.

“Well, unfortunately, math and science are the ones my father wants me to master.”

“What are you talking about,” this time Jaemin interrupted their conversation, “when you’re going to be an amazing writer in the future.”

It was true. His father wrote for the living, and he also heard his fair share of the story of how his family went against that decision. It did take him a little longer to get to success though, but when Jaemin celebrated his 15th birthday, his father was also celebrating his book becoming a best-seller.

“Nah, I’m not sure if I will be a writer though.”

“You will. Trust me. I can see bright future ahead of you if you pursue that dream of yours.”

Jaewook smiled fondly at Jaemin, who smiled back in encouragement. “Thanks, I guess.”

When they were already halfway in finishing their food, Jaemin heard someone’s footsteps from behind him. He could also see the change in Jeno’s face when the boy had his gaze fixed at the newcomer. Jaemin then turned around, an unexpected surprise coloring his face.

“Injun?”

The boy stopped before he could even reach them, seemingly hesitant. Jaemin got up from where he was sitting and walked towards his friend.

“Hey, you want to join us?”

Renjun shook his head, his expression seemingly dreadful. “Uh, I think...”

“You can join us if you want,” Jeno suggested, which made the two of them turn their heads to him.

“Nah, I already ate. Just checking how you’re doing...” Renjun answered quietly, which was directed only to Jaemin.

“I don’t think they mind if you join. Just join, Injun. You don’t have to eat if you’re already full.” Jaemin tried his best to make puppy eyes, which Renjun tried so hard to ignore by not looking at him in the eyes. That didn’t stop Jaemin from shoving his puppy look into the boy’s face.

“Uh, stop it or I will not join at all.”

Jaemin was quick to do as told. Renjun’s eyes shifted back and forth between his friend in front of him and the other two sitting under the tree before he sighed.

“Fine, I’ll join, but you better buy me tteokbokki after school.”

“Deal.” Jaemin pulled Renjun’s hand to where the other two best friends were.

“Guys, I guess you remember Hwang Injun.” The said boy smiled awkwardly at the two other boys as he settled in next to Jaemin.

“You are Jaemin’s lunch friend,” Jeno started, “and also in the same gosiwon?”

Renjun confirmed with a short “yes” and a nod, still smiling awkwardly. Jaemin interfered by asking Jaewook to let Renjun taste the food, which he gave permission to. Of course the boy didn’t want to at first, but upon another round of Jaemin’s puppy eyes, he gave in, which elicited chuckles and giggles from both Jeno and Jaewook.

“You guys are funny. Must be fun living together in the same place,” Jeno commented.

“Nope,” both Jaemin and Renjun replied at the same time, which drew more amused reactions from the other two boys.

 

Days after days went by, the four boys spent increasingly more lunch time together. Jaewook was the primary provider for their food, but when he didn’t bring any food, they would locate themselves to the cafeteria sometimes. At some point, Jaemin felt like he was probably burdening his grandmother—Jaewook’s mother into making extra portions of food for the four of them, so he took matter into his own hands to make some food to share with his friends, since he actually could. In fact, he learned cooking from his grandmother whenever he visited, and his father complimented his cooking before, so he would like it for sure. Jaemin would wake up early and went shopping for some ingredients together with the gosiwon Auntie and then whipped out some recipes he had in his knowledge.

“Wow, I didn’t know you can cook,” the Auntie had commented the first time he tried cooking in her kitchen. “You should help me out with my porridge business sometimes.”

Jaemin offered the Auntie a smile, and a taste of his cooking, of course. She complimented it and that was how she got him into working with her selling porridge every Saturday and Sunday morning.

Renjun was the next person who tried his cooking. Surely, the boy wasn’t expecting his friend to cook, which was understandable. Thankfully, he also found his cooking to be good.

“You know, instead of buying me tteokbokki, you should make it for me next time.”

“You think it’s easy to make tteokbokki? If you want me to make it for you, then you gotta help me with it.”

“Yeah, yeah, sure.”

When he brought the food to the school for the first time (with Renjun’s help, of course), they were also quite surprised. Jaemin made sweet potato pancake, which was the recipe he was most confident in.

“Wow... the smell is similar to the one my mother made.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah.”

When Jaewook had finally tasted the food, he was even more surprised.

“Wow. It tastes exactly like my mother’s cooking!”

Jeno also tried the said cooking, and his reaction was also similar, but he gave Jaemin thumbs up as a plus.

“You’re really good at this, but you don’t have to do this often.” Jeno’s remark almost made Jaemin offended if he didn’t continue talking. “It might be too much burden for you since you don’t live in your own house...”

“Nah, I have an assistant.” Jaemin grinned widely as he circled his arms around Renjun who was sitting next to him as usual.

“Since when did I become your assistant?” He could feel the shorter boy’s glare as he said it.

“I thought last time you said you’ll help me out with cooking?”

“That’s _only_ for when you make me tteokbokki.”

“Come on. I can make you more than just tteokbokki if you help me out.”

Renjun’s silence and a noticeable slump in his shoulders drew a round of laughter among them. Jaemin was glad that they were getting along well, even though sometimes he could still feel reluctance from Renjun. But he was now more willing to talk with either Jeno or Jaewook, or at least greet them when they ran into each other, so at least there was progression.

He also felt progression coming from himself. Even though he would like to be closer to Jaewook, but Jeno was the one in the same class and shared the same desk with him after all. From their almost close-to-none conversation to much more comfortable talks, he was quickly becoming closer with his seat partner. They would talk about a lot of things, from themselves to talks about weather or some random thoughts. At times, Jaemin would remember his intention of befriending Jeno, to find out what was wrong with him, but he wasn’t sure how he would trigger any conversation leading there, because he didn’t know the problem in the first place. He seemed to be happy almost 24/7, had his father as his best friend, even now gaining Jaemin and Renjun as additions, and he still excelled in his academics.

There was indeed, one topic that Jeno barely touched in any of their conversations, whether it was in class or during lunch. His parents. Among the four of them, only Jaewook was comfortable enough to talk about his parents. If Jaemin were to ever be asked about it, he would find it hard for him to answer, given that his father was right in front of him and didn’t even know he was interacting with his own son. But he wondered if that was where Jeno’s problem lied, and it was kind of suffocating, because he couldn’t do anything to help.

At least he still had plenty of time until the second CSAT of the year.

 

“Hey, Na Jaemin.”

Lee Donghyuck was standing outside the classroom. Jaemin had just finished his cleaning duty and he was on his way out already when the boy called him.

“You are now pretty tight-knit with Lee Jeno, I see.”

“And Na Jaewook,” Jaemin added, but Donghyuck’s statement made his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. After one time he saw Donghyuck spying on them having lunch in the school yard, there were many other times he spotted the boy, but not once did he start talking to him face to face after that, like this moment right now.

“Yeah, Na Jaewook. You seem to like him so much too, huh.” There was a slight sarcasm in Donghyuck’s voice, and Jaemin thought it was very unnecessary.

“Right. I do like having him as my friend. So what?”

“Well, I did tell you to stay away from Jeno.”

“And you didn’t tell me why. You didn’t even put an effort for me to do exactly what you say.”

This time, Donghyuck seemed to be taken aback, even at the slightest, but then he smiled, amused. Jaemin couldn’t fathom what was running inside this boy’s head.

“Right. There are so many things I didn’t do, huh. I wonder if I should’ve done it, but in the end, I guess I just kinda prefer seeing everything fall into place.”

For once in a long time, Jaemin felt he couldn’t register what Donghyuck was talking about. The other time was when Donghyuck started up a conversation with him for the first time.

“What... what are you even talking about?”

Donghyuck took a step towards Jaemin, closing a distance that was once there into one that made the latter slightly uncomfortable.

“We all know you are not from around here. You came from other place. But I see you are getting more... settled in? Because of your new friends, I guess?”

Fortunately for Jaemin, here was when Donghyuck decided to pull back a little. That still didn’t stop him from talking further.

“If you are settled in here, then... will you ever want to go back home? To where you’re from?”

The question sparked something in Jaemin. This was indeed like the first time talking with Donghyuck. He looked at the boy, confusion evident in his gaze.

“Simply put, if you befriend Lee Jeno... it will be harder for you to leave this place, I guess. There. I told you why.”

Jaemin didn’t know how to react. He ended up having an unreadable expression on his face, his mind running on plenty of thoughts. Something in the back of his mind told him that Donghyuck probably knew about his condition, his _real_ condition, but another told him he probably meant something else. He didn’t know what to think about it, not even when Donghyuck came closer again to pat him on his shoulder.

“I’m not going out of my way to stop your friendship or anything, but... I already told you the consequence. Don’t blame me when things do not go the way you want.”

“Are you the one who sent me messages to my pager?”

Donghyuck stopped just as he was about to leave. They both turned back to each other, and this time Donghyuck was the one who looked somewhat confused.

“Pager? You have a pager?”

Surely, Jaemin didn’t expect another question to come out of Donghyuck’s mouth. He had strong enough feeling that maybe, just maybe, Donghyuck was the one behind all this, but the boy looked genuinely curious that he was beginning to wonder again.

“Yeah. What about it?”

“Nah. I would’ve asked for your pager number, but I don’t have one.”

“Why would you want to ask for my pager number?”

“I don’t know, so we can message each other? All that stuff?”

Jaemin just scoffed. “Even if you ask for the number, I will never give it to you.”

“Aww. Why?”

The taller just shook his head and started walking down the corridor towards the front gate. He could hear Donghyuck’s voice following him from behind.

“You should bring it to school next time! I want to see how it looks like!”

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and feedback are all appreciated!  
> [twt](https://twitter.com/kkukkungism)  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.me/sireanne)


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